I’m an airline pilot training to be a therapist—which probably says a lot about turbulence, both in the air and in life. Three years ago, I thought I had it all together. A successful career, a relationship, a plan. Then everything unraveled.
I started this blog to document my journey as I train to become a therapist—but also to speak up about something I believe is far too neglected: men’s mental health.This doesn't mean I think that mental wellbeing isn't important for everyone but men's mental health is severely neglected. Andit's our own fault! As men, we don't talk about our mental health. We let our pride and ego get in the way. What's worse, we don't even know how to talk about how we're feeling and be vulnerable.
I want to change this! My own mental health journey over the last five years has had so many ups and downs (and that's not just a piloting pun). Like the frog in the boiling water, I didn't know how bad things were until my life started to crumble before my eyes. My relationship ended, I was disattisifed in my job and I covered that all up with unhealthy coping strategies. It took a hard fall from grace—a deep hole of despair—before I realised just how much I needed to change.
The freedom I feel on the other side is indescribable. I have close friends who I can share my life with and open up to when I need to. I have a new found sense of awareness and tool to help me get through life. Does this mean I'm free from my character defects and anxiety - no! But that's okay. I can manage them and notice when these things come up and do something about it. But has been like peeling an onion - first one layer, then there's another and more things to be understood and healed.
This blog is a space for me to share the tools I’ve learned, the hard-won lessons, and the stories that shaped me. My hope is that what I write resonates with other men—so that, together, we can become a little less shit, a little more connected, and a lot more human.
That's a start and I'll go from there.
Be kind to your mind!
Matt
Touch down! You have arrived and quickly disbelief becomes shock. Shock is a survival mode and you will spend the first couple of weeks in this shocked and disoriented state. Everything is new and you need to push through to set up your new life and survive. On top of that you have to meet new people, a new company culture to learn and a new plane to fly! Don’t underestimate how much energy this will require.
That’s just how it felt for me when we walked out of the airport. It was hot, it was busy and I’d never seen so much sand before in my life. A man with broken Englishpicked us up and took us to our temporary accommodation. It was different than I expected. Everything was novel and it overwhelmed the senses. In the first couple of weeks, I struggled. On more than one occasions I’d sit there and wonder “what the hell am I doing here”.
Don’t worry! This is normal! The body and mind adapt faster than you’d think. Slowly things start to become familiar, you start to get your life in order and you’ll even score a few wins (like managing to buy a bed). Make the most of the small victories. The shock will slowly dwindle and you’ll start to more into stage two: euphoria.
This is the start of the expat journey. It’s a journey that isn’t for everyone. It’s a continual challenge and most certainly a battle at first. But that’s part of the adventure, that’s part of the thrill. I know you’ll take it all in your stride. Just like those before you and you’ll be a better person, and a better pilot, for it.